Character Build: Keesh the Kobold Culinary Artist

The Core Concept (I love Kobolds)

Kobolds are cute.  Always have been.  
  There's something pitiful in their representation, and they can feel like fodder if you're not careful, but I'd argue there's a depth to them we often don't get the chance to explore.  They can be industrious, courageous, intelligent, even empathetic - their presentation suffers from always requiring a draconic master or a simplistic society or some other measure that keeps them downtrodden and low.
  That's why in Io, though there ARE the "traditional" Kobold clans, there are still many others that break from that tradition and embrace their heroic natures.  Whether it be the courage to fight, or the courage to study, there is a wide spectrum to the nature of accomplishment a race could achieve after a millennia of working with whatever they had to spare.  That's something we may not realize; there are Kobold inventors, fliers, alchemists, bombers...these little guys build stuff.  They dedicate themselves to industry...but their resources are often sub-par.  Imagine what a Kobold could accomplish with access to the resources of a Dwarven forge, or an Elven library, or a Human leatherworker.  Their weakness of station has little to do with their personal intellect and a lot to do with their environmental experience.
  So with the understanding that a Kobold with proper resources would dedicate herself to the study of a craft, even if the methods may go awry or be haphazard in nature, would this not create a powerful master in this study?  Skilled in unorthodox mixtures, brilliant workarounds, and a keen observation of new possibilities, a Kobold's need to survive opens the door to innovation.  
This is where you track with me to the obvious Kobold Artificer...and I keep walking.  For this study is a discipline of the mind, body, and soul, and for that to ring true, the more appropriate answer is the Monk.

Martial Discipline Carries Over

Any martial artist that's dedicated enough energy and time to their art can tell you: this isn't about fighting, it's about learning.  In fact, a lot of the martial disciplines teach oneself, yes, how to move well, how to defend yourself, but moreso how to cultivate one's understanding of the world that surrounds them by learning how to learn for themselves.  A disciplined martial artist isn't simply learning how to kick or punch or block, but how to navigate their world with intelligence and wisdom with the confidence that is only derived from a dedicated practice in self-improvement.  Once you know how to learn, and you have cultivated your discipline to support the hard work needed, the world opens to you.  
  This is why swordsman drew calligraphy, archers played music, generals wrote poetry, and monks...learned to cook.

The Actual Build

DUNGEON COACH'S APPROACH
I'm not rolling stats the same way this time.  Instead, I'd like to take a page from Dungeon Coach's book (linked HERE), and try an alternative roll.  See, sometimes I get really lucky in my spread, and sometimes I stink hardcore, but Point-Buy doesn't thrill me and to me, Standard Array is boring.  I still enjoy rolling quite a bit, even if the outcome is less than optimal.
  So "DC" proposed something a bit different.  First, we roll FIVE stats using our standard 4d6, drop the lowest, sort of fare.  I'll do that now...

10 (blargh)
12
6 (oh gods why...)
16
12

OUCH.  Now, my DM in charge *might* take a look at this trend and say "Nope.  Start over."  BUT NO SIR!  WE'RE TRYING SOMETHING DIFFERENT TODAY.
  Because DC's idea involves one more step.  I add up all of these (shudder) numbers and I get...56.  I then take a magic number that DC has discovered is the total of your numbers whenever you use the Standard Array - 72.  I subtract the two, and I get my sixth stat: another 16.
  The philosophy here is that for all the possible suckage one could roll out, you'd be guaranteed at least one decent stat out of everything, and conversely if you rolled remarkably well, you're guaranteed one stat as your main flaw - something we openly embrace around here.  It's no fun playing characters that are just good at EVERYTHING.

​RACIAL MODIFIERS AND WHERE THE STATS GO
Kobolds get some nice little bonuses, but their penalties are nasty in Volo's Guide, with a +2 Dexterity bonus but a -2 Strength penalty.  Lump onto that some lovely SUNLIGHT SENSITIVITY and you've got a LOVELY little Package of Argh.  But Pack Tactics is nice for the "group up" mentality and, though I hate the name, "Grovel, Cower, and Beg" will be great for setting up my (hopefully) Rogue and Barbarian allies.
  Keesh is intended to be quirky, smart, observant, and adorably weird.  The latter might convince you to put that already low 6 into my Charisma BUT NO I say!  No, no.  ADORABLY weird.  Nah, I'm going to lean into that Strength penalty like WHOA.  Monks need Dex and Wisdom, so let's save our 16 and (now) 18 for that madness.  We're level 7 for his little adventure, so I'll need to pick a Feat or max out my Dex, but I'm getting ahead of myself.  All told, my Attributes are as follows:

STR - 4 (!)
DEX - 18
CON - 10
INT - 13
WIS - 16
CHA - 12

​But who needs Strength when I'm FAST and cute!  He said, unknowing of the horrors his friend DM will unleash upon him for his birthday.  Lawl.
  By Level 7 I've got most of the things that make Monk great: Evasion, my fists overcome resistances, stunning strike, DEFLECT MISSILES, Ki, and Unarmored Defense.  Next, I have a Feat to consider, and in a game that supports most raw numbers better than flavor, my first experience with 5E monk in a full campaign avoided Feats in favor of maxing out that beautiful Dex score.  However, Mobile has served me well in the past (but Drunken Technique will open that door nicely) and Lucky or Alert are always super helpful.  This time around, I'm favoring story over numbers, and I like the idea that this little Kobold can be favored by decent luck when things go awry; another testament to his survivability.  Tonight I choose Lucky, and call it a day.  Meaning, I shall shape up as such:

Name: Keesh
Race: Kobold
Class: Monk - 7 (Way Of The Drunken Master)
AC: 17
HP: 49
STR - 4 (-3)
DEX - 18 (+4)
CON - 10
INT - 13 (+1)
WIS - 16 (+3)
CHA - 12 (+1)

I'm going to use stale potatoes as projectiles, jerky as nunchucks, and spices as emotional currency.  Keesh seeks to improve everyday cuisine by unlocking your senses, enhancing your flavor palette, and pairing everything with chocolate - because you can't go wrong with chocolate.  Ever.
I'll let ya'll know how he plays at the table.
See you there.
-Adamus