First, some build up.  
For those uninitiated, Gray Owls is a dark fantasy electric-punk D&D campaign that I've been running professionally for about 3 years now.  It is a game of secrets, shadows, and danger.  The magical weave is broken, and magic is wild again.  Throughout all the intrigue, however, there is always the looming threat in the North.  Hordes of swarming beasts from the shattered Shadowfell (yep, obliterated) called The Brood.  After 14 Chapters of huge groups parties and split goals, it became apparent to run two smaller groups instead.  A group to fight "the bugs," (Team Bug, the main subject of this post) and another to rebuild the Worldtree, and deal with threats within the city (Team Tree).
  Chapter 15, the first mission on their own, was some of the best D&D I've run, and it was dark, gritty monster action.  And in a campaign where the majority of threats have been the machinations of other people (monsters in different ways), this was a welcome change of pace.  Chapters 16 and 17 had some huge story thread reveals and plot hole filling, permanently adjusting the trajectory of this group.  The focus shifted from "killing the bugs", to reaping vengeance upon the "grand orchestrator" behind it all, probably preventing future cataclysm and saving more lives.
  But Chapter 18 felt...halted.  In the grand scheme of things, we didn't DO a lot.  There was a fair amount of little reveals, setups, unexpected twists (but minor on the action), and then they met a guy.  Now, I really, really dislike looking at sessions like this, because it skips over any sense of depth while you're in the moment and tends to discount the little things that can really add up.  HOWEVER, what it did reveal was a lack of momentum.  You can have sessions where not a lot happened, but there was enough momentum/release/satisfaction that it FELT like you accomplished a lot...because you did!
  Social development is still development, and combat and exploration still play a role.  In truth, though, it doesn't matter which pillar you're in; each can be momentous and satisfying in its own way, which, in turn, also means that each can lose momentum.  This was a curious case of achieving a set out goal...and then not knowing what to do next.  Now, I try to get homework from players about what they're planning for next time so I can better align to their story, but I admit to missing that beat this time around.  And, upon really thinking about it, I used to ask this question with the players in this team before, and would get minimal response or direction...so I stopped.  When, in actuality, this was the BEST time to bring it up.  We're approaching the end game, and though that final set piece is ready to go, GETTING THERE isn't.  I THOUGHT that we were aware of more of our available resources, that we had built up momentum and expectations, but in reality...I'm exhausted.  I'm overwhelmed with trying to build a satisfying experience, barely sleeping, trying to balance my life and my liberties and my activism and my creativity, all while believing in my soul that I'm just letting everyone down.
  This seeming lack of direction, my exhaustion with running games, a missing player, and then, to top it all off, new perceptions from long-time players about the tone of the campaign and its direction...threw me right off.  Even though folks report to having a good time, I was not pleased with myself.  I've run better sessions, and I was sub-par to my own standards, pushing a combat when I felt I was losing them - even though it wasn't quite appropriate.  But there's so much more to consider here beyond beating myself up.

...not just tying up loose ends.
​  Everyone is moving simultaneously.  These aren't video game NPCs.  These are faction leaders, detectives, bounty hunters...all with their own goals and schemes.  If the players are moving, they're moving too.
  The lack of information plays a role, too.  The players don't know everything, nor should they, but they need to know enough to act.  And what they know and choose to act on can be completely different.  The players decide through their questions and actions what is important to focus on.  This doesn't mean the other content stops moving, it just doesn't need to be broadcast.
  There was a point in each team where the focus shifted away from reacting to dangers and proactively, as a group, making their own plans.  A new surge of purpose; utilizing resources, information gathered, and connections they've built up to make much more informed decisions.  That change in agency fundamentally changes the course of a campaign, and can act as a release of tension - the point when the characters rise above or past the restrictions of lower class or lower levels.  They clarified what they needed to fight for.
  This was Chapter 12 for the Gray Owls.  After 11 chapters of keeping secrets and distrusting one another, we had a whole 8-hour session of satisfying role-playing and putting everything on the table, identifying a target - a clear villain to crush - and coming together as a team.  Discussing with many of my players, this became the theoretical beginning of Phase II in the grand story.  Which shifts the tone naturally.  But there may be other factors that push the lens in unexpected ways.
  We all remember the first "Iron Man," but it can be hard to look at that film now without the grand timeline of the remaining MCU.  And I'm no Marvel storyteller, but many DMs try to interweave and setup hooks with satisfying payoffs, only possible after their players experience the initial setup.  What I'm getting at here is that the story is not over.  Each session, or Chapter in this case, is a singular event - yes - but it is ALSO one piece of a much larger thread.  The same way that our Chapters 3 and 8 - on their own, arguably two of my weakest sessions - only gained traction and value when sewn into the fabrics of Chapters 4 and 9, and beyond.  And unlike a film, with pre-written dialogue and directions, the players and DM heavily influence the trajectory of this story.
  We must also consider the immediacy of this timeline.  Gray Owls functions differently than my broader audience Knight Owls.  The latter takes place over a year of time, with episodes often weeks apart in game time, while the former...picks up immediately where they left off, give or take a few hours.  Meeting monthly makes the timeline feel a little wonky, (something I address below in the last section) but it's valuable to recognize that all of these crazy events are taking place over the course of a month so far.  Meaning, the impressions of certain organizations, big players in the mix, sweeping counter moves by factions seizing power...are all very quick and decisive.  This isn't normal.  Before was normal, we are now in the Aftermath.  Which also means, undoubtedly, there will be a response to this chaos to help restore order...because that's how governments work.
​
  The information of their actions and consequences may paint a curious picture when compared to the expanded lens of the DM, too.  I might see dark machinations brewing, but if the player lens doesn't look for it, it doesn't exist.  Lately I've been practicing being more liberal in dripping content to players during sessions, predominantly through the Whisper Function on Roll20 - both as an engagement and as a reward for their perceptions.  These additional records aid the players in piecing together the cloaks and daggers, but there's much more that can be done.

As I reflect on Gray Owls, there's a lot to commend.  The world built, the course of the players and their characters, the freeing of deep roleplaying, and the overall tone - dark and dangerous.  But something happened along the way, and I'd be remised if I didn't reflect on these observations and think critically on how they may have manifested.  The following comments or questions have come from players as they have observed the campaign as a whole.  

"Is magic broken or not?"
  This one irks me a bit.  Yes.  It has been demonstrated as such; many spells do not behave as intended, some in cataclysmic ways - this fact has never changed.  This discourages magic usage, AND, depending on your socio-economic class, can get you taken by the Vertigo Caste (the world's secret police).  This was demonstrated in Chapter 1.
  HOWEVER, and this is where trajectory and party composition plays a role, some players haven't seen much of those consequences.  In Chapter 2, the party traded two characters out (one would return later, and the cast would continue to rotate, complicating matters and perspectives) for two characters from the noble houses that rule the city.  As established and discussed in Session 0, the rich have access to magic in ways the rest of the city doesn't, and we got to witness the immensely wide gap between the noble houses and the lower terraces of Stormwrack. For the urchins and wanted of the group, this was a safe haven for the first time in their lives, and would become a huge motivator in maintaining that sanction and safety.  In fact, an entire session was devoted to changing their "ownership" from one member of the house to another, so that they could stay for a few more days.  This "headquarters", though, was not my original intention.  Gray Owls was supposed to feel grittier - scraping by on the will of their wits and cut of their blade (reinforcement for campaign 2).  But this became a main focus from the party.  Something sought after enough that it shifted the campaign's focus.  ...But that doesn't mean that magic isn't still a problem for everyone else.
  In fact, on numerous occasions, the party has witnessed the consequences of casting magic in the open, even if the players failed to take note of it.  Characters they've interacted with are now missing.  In fact, people continue to disappear every day.  Just because the players are in their high towers, safe from that scrutiny, doesn't mean it isn't still happening.  But again, the player lens is the view of the campaign.  I can TELL them it's happening, or I can SHOW them.  
Lesson For Self: More Show, Less Tell.  
Next to ponder - how to show if they aren't looking.  ;)

"Just how bad is the Brood anyway?"
In the first campaign of Gray Owls, dubbed Book 1, there has been the looming threat of The Brood in the North.  With all the cloak and dagger politics of the main city, we only hear about these devastating creatures through trickling news reels and shreds of propaganda here and there.  It is known among most people that these "bug-like" creatures move in accordance with a Queen, and are very difficult to kill - for this reason, the city produces through one of its noble houses an elite line of nigh-immortal warrior shapeshifters called Broodhunters.  These hunters come from the Ironwood Family, one of the ruling families of the high court and people with little tolerance for the BS found among other nobles - it wins them respect from the people.
  The Brood were intended to be mysterious.  In fact, there was a chance early campaign that we would never have encountered them.  But then a player made a character from the North - so now there's a vendetta arc - and in maintaining that noble protection, they aligned themselves with the Ironwoods almost without question.  Soon, more and more decisions became influenced by that looming threat, until the invariable beginning of Phase III with the party splitting up core objectives.  One stays in the city, and the other heads North to fight the Brood.
  What we discover, though, is two-fold.  
1) The Brood is coordinated, making moves as strike points, not occupations.  They aren't behaving like a swarm suddenly.  Someone is controlling them.  Most recently revealed: one of the three airship captains of the city is calling them somehow, becoming the Orchestrator of not only that player-character's tribe nearly getting wiped out, but responsible for hundreds if not thousands of other deaths.  

2) The other creatures of the North have been corrupted by the Brood's presence.  Though not under the same control, a rising "infection" in the North continues to spread from even the shadows of a Brood.  
    This second fact -  by the way - has only been hinted at.  It was something I forgot about until I consolidated my notes and went back to the cave for deep prep.  That affliction might have further cemented the danger of the Brood, even if they're being manipulated.  That's an oops for me.

"Choices used to have tragic consequences."
I would argue that they still do.  I have been trying to strike a better balance between appropriate danger to power level, erring on the side of danger *most* of the time.  However, Team Bug's players try to be monster slaying heroes - which isn't really what the campaign was built for initially - and I DO want to give them some measure of that success.  And harder choices are coming...we're just in a low point.  This is also where we have to consider player lens and DM lens - I know what's coming and how certain choices have sent ripples in terrible, delicious directions.  The players won't see that immediately - nor should they.  Yet, I can still think on and plan for ways to show this still to be true.  To show glimpses of it through the player POV.
  The other variable to consider is the other Team in the city.  A common sentiment among the players - happily, by the way - is that although they are high level, they don't always feel as powerful as their character sheet says.  This was a consistent tone.  You might know some cool spells and have great hit points, but you may still lack the resources of your enemy.  Your level and features can be potentially powerful, but you also need to gather information and plan your attack.  Play smarter, not harder.
  Somewhere along the way, that vulnerability left Team Bug.  The moment they left the intimacy of the city, something shifted in the dynamic.  They stopped being in danger, and started becoming superheroes.  And, to them, their choices stopped mattering.  In a way, they lost their sense of mortality.  I will seek to get it back.

"The structure of the session has changed."
I agree.  And that's on me.  The mission doesn't seem clear anymore, despite everything put in place.  Chapter to Chapter, session to session, I've had a much harder time keeping everything straight, even with my notes sitting under my nose.  The pressure of it all became too much, and I started making missteps in preparation and presentation.  This is where I see the most introspective growth and planning moving forward.  I am thankful for the observations surrounding this point in particular, and welcome the focus it brings to the table.

And these observations shouldn't be taken as a twisting of the knife.  
  I'm pretty damn good at what I do, which means anything voiced at this point is actually minor in the long haul, AND if I can pivot and correct THOSE, how much more elevated will all of this be?  But in exploring this path, I "unearthed" something painful.  If you'll entertain me the tangent, I'd like to share a perspective with you.

It isn't something I talk about much, but my greatest fear is theft.  I've had credit card numbers stolen, bank accounts hacked, and my car broken into.  I make sure to be as safe as possible when web browsing and using my information.  And still it's happened.  Multiple times.  It's almost like a running joke now.
  Every time it happened it was smaller, but it didn't hurt any less.  And when you try to live your life honestly and do right by others, it hurts so much to know that to someone else...you're just a credit card number.  The kind of person that thinks that way...I have very extreme responses to.  They hurt me in deep, personal ways that I can only begin to describe and it would be silly of me not to acknowledge that I still seek vengeance and justice over those wrongs, only to be told that the "crime is too small to pursue."  That if I ever met one of these garbage humans that robbed me of my livelihood and thought it was no big deal...I want to hurt them.  I want them to understand the pain that they put me through and how they invaded my life; shattered my sense of self security.  I know that's a visceral reaction.  And I know it pales in comparison to the events and perspectives of today, but it does not invalidate how wrong this act was, and how unsatisfying that lack of justice was.  My pain didn't matter.  That invasion of my soul wasn't valid.  And that erosion of humanity wasn't important enough to seek retribution.
  Last Christmas was the first year where something like that hadn't happened, and it was a bittersweet feeling.  Like somehow that curse had finally skipped me, at least temporarily, but it has been such a stain that now it just looms.  Forever in the background.  So that in my moments of weakness, when I am in a state less than my best, I can have challenging "knee-jerk" reactions to certain stimuli - like other GMs finding success where I struggled.  It is rooted in fear, and stoked by envy.

​I am not a perfect human.  
​And though I do a decent job of mitigating those defense mechanisms before they come out in real life, they are still there and I still deal with them.  It is getting better, and I've thought more and more about why.  There are really two ways I can approach a few recent events.  Through Scarcity and Fear - a belief that we are all competing in our various lanes, threads, and niches for the same acclamation and clientele, there only being room for one at the top of this pedestal.  OR.  Through Abundance and Community - recognition that we all benefit from the accomplishments and accolades of each other in our individual and shared threads, and that their successes augment our own.  There is plenty of room for all of us to lead, follow, create, and thrive.
For some real life examples:

Seeing a fellow GM record sessions and rewrite them as stories, and receive wonderful accolades for that.
Scarcity: Well, I did that with the Knight Owls archive and people complained about "required reading"!  How come when he does it, it's the best thing ever?
Abundance: I have my style and he has his.  We're both growing and learning from each other's journeys.  Everyone has a different presentation, and maybe I can learn something from his success to help breathe new life into my own Adventure Archive.  Good for him, and both still have value.

Opening up the GM's Corner to include other perspectives.
Scarcity: It's my blog and I want my content to be featured!  What if they become more popular than me?  What if they produce more than me when I get really busy?
Abundance: It is still my blog, and it's always been our mission to continue to grow through other perspectives.  A rising tide lifts all ships.  And how beautiful would it be if for every voice we raise up, another player comes to love this game and the value it can add to their lives.  This is a yes/and, and it can only make the site and its mission stronger.

Receiving kind, constructive feedback for your cool campaign.
Scarcity: I ruined the game for them and I don't know how to recover...
Abundance: Every session we run is a rep.  Instead think on how you can pivot to make the next one better, because there will be a next one.  Also, taking space to recharge is not giving up; you haven't failed anyone, you're just growing.

And I still feel those pangs of protective guards rising up around the things I built or pioneered in my little circles, but part of our development as human beings is to become awake to those elements, and open yourself to the hard work of self-improvement.  It is one thing to acknowledge our lack of skill in an area and do nothing about it - or at worse, look for collective affirmation in our ineptitude - and to pursue consistent growth.  ESPECIALLY in our current social and economic climate, a Growth Mindset will be the key skill every human must cultivate entering the new age.

I'm taking my space for the month of July on running big games.  I've been running games almost non-stop for 3 years now.  I need some time to get my head right, and, to take a page from one of my fellow GMs, to "go back in the cave."  I want to do my deep prep in these worlds I've built, instead of feeling like I MUST keep going or everything will fall apart.  
  And when I return, we'll have the best close to a campaign yet and a fine start to the next.

To aid in this, I want to produce a few items.  These will help EVERYONE in immersion, memory, agency, and direction.  They'll also help me tremendously in my development as a GM as I upgrade my consistency, world-building, and custom content (I keep pretty good books for myself, but I need to expand what my players have access to).
And in case it wasn't clear, this is for every campaign moving forward.  That's the goal, and I need time to go deep.

A GLOSSARY OF PLACES, PEOPLE, AND TERMS
It keeps coming up in conversation.  A glossary helps more than a summary.  The players need to know who's who between and during play, and an active document that has this available to everyone at every session is a "no duh" to me for a cloak and dagger campaign.  I have one for myself every session, it's just wicked messy.  It's actually painful that it's taken me this long to compile what I have.  Time to clean it all up, and get back to basics.  I can add and subtract things from the "living document" as players discover things - which is also neat - and that way there's no worry of revealing secrets too early.  This has the added bonus of never requiring notes; there are still players that do that and love it, and still will, but in this case redundancy is fine.  And!  If I misspoke or messed up a term, I can fix that in the running doc.  It ensures that everyone has the same access to information, and removes our initial resistance to immersion.

CHAPTERS AS STORIES or CHAPTERS AS RECAP
This one I'm on the fence about, because our shift to Roll20 changed how we consumed and ran the campaign for both groups.  Some form of recap, either as fiction or summary, is definitely needed, but I need to experiment with what is going to be A) Efficient and B) Creatively freeing.  Before quarantine mode, I recorded the audio of my various games for study and internal consistency, and when I did that I would AT LEAST try to recap Knight Owls sessions here and there.  However, the process was insane.  I'd have to comb through meticulously 6-9 hours of audio every time, and it just wasn't conducive to a consistent workflow.  If I follow it like a fiction, it might be freeing enough to provide a more energizing experience for myself, my readers, and my players, both current and future.

MAPS
I have gone all-in on a map-making software subscription and am designing professional maps for ALL of my campaigns.  It's a blast.  Again, how nice would it be if you actually knew WHERE you were beyond a few sketches.

​WORLD-BUILDING FICTION
For a time there, I was producing 1-3 short stories a month.  Then it became 0-1.  Then 1 every two months.  I had originally planned for 60 entries by Chapter 19, and I'm sitting at 30 at the moment.  
  Writing the fiction grounds the world in my own head.  Remember how I mentioned that the NPCs are always moving?  That's the fiction sometimes.  Other times, it's just lore; stories and news written by other creatures in the setting.  It allows me to shift focus momentarily elsewhere as an act of immersion, and it's fun for me!  So I'm going to go have some fun, and help set the stage for a climactic close for those reading along with the snippets.  :)  

And looking at some of these, I can already see some other GMs shaking their head going "why didn't you have these at the start?"  And to that I meet you with:
Scarcity: ...Mean things to tell myself about missed opportunities...
​Abundance: Players have consistently returned to my table for the last five years for a good reason.  I am good at what I do.  And now I'll be even better.  

See you at the table.
Get ready to rock.
​-Adamus

PS: Feywild and Shadowfell campaigns will continue through July, but on a more limited schedule.

Enjoy this take from another corner?  Smash that Like button and stay tuned for more every month.  
Other perspectives help us grow as fellow gamers.  :)
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See you soon, and remember to Game Responsibly.
-Adamus

DUNGEON COACH'S APPROACH
I'm not rolling stats the same way this time.  Instead, I'd like to take a page from Dungeon Coach's book (linked HERE), and try an alternative roll.  See, sometimes I get really lucky in my spread, and sometimes I stink hardcore, but Point-Buy doesn't thrill me and to me, Standard Array is boring.  I still enjoy rolling quite a bit, even if the outcome is less than optimal.
  So "DC" proposed something a bit different.  First, we roll FIVE stats using our standard 4d6, drop the lowest, sort of fare.  I'll do that now...

10 (blargh)
12
6 (oh gods why...)
16
12

OUCH.  Now, my DM in charge *might* take a look at this trend and say "Nope.  Start over."  BUT NO SIR!  WE'RE TRYING SOMETHING DIFFERENT TODAY.
  Because DC's idea involves one more step.  I add up all of these (shudder) numbers and I get...56.  I then take a magic number that DC has discovered is the total of your numbers whenever you use the Standard Array - 72.  I subtract the two, and I get my sixth stat: another 16.
  The philosophy here is that for all the possible suckage one could roll out, you'd be guaranteed at least one decent stat out of everything, and conversely if you rolled remarkably well, you're guaranteed one stat as your main flaw - something we openly embrace around here.  It's no fun playing characters that are just good at EVERYTHING.

​RACIAL MODIFIERS AND WHERE THE STATS GO
Kobolds get some nice little bonuses, but their penalties are nasty in Volo's Guide, with a +2 Dexterity bonus but a -2 Strength penalty.  Lump onto that some lovely SUNLIGHT SENSITIVITY and you've got a LOVELY little Package of Argh.  But Pack Tactics is nice for the "group up" mentality and, though I hate the name, "Grovel, Cower, and Beg" will be great for setting up my (hopefully) Rogue and Barbarian allies.
  Keesh is intended to be quirky, smart, observant, and adorably weird.  The latter might convince you to put that already low 6 into my Charisma BUT NO I say!  No, no.  ADORABLY weird.  Nah, I'm going to lean into that Strength penalty like WHOA.  Monks need Dex and Wisdom, so let's save our 16 and (now) 18 for that madness.  We're level 7 for his little adventure, so I'll need to pick a Feat or max out my Dex, but I'm getting ahead of myself.  All told, my Attributes are as follows:

STR - 4 (!)
DEX - 18
CON - 10
INT - 13
WIS - 16
CHA - 12

​But who needs Strength when I'm FAST and cute!  He said, unknowing of the horrors his friend DM will unleash upon him for his birthday.  Lawl.
  By Level 7 I've got most of the things that make Monk great: Evasion, my fists overcome resistances, stunning strike, DEFLECT MISSILES, Ki, and Unarmored Defense.  Next, I have a Feat to consider, and in a game that supports most raw numbers better than flavor, my first experience with 5E monk in a full campaign avoided Feats in favor of maxing out that beautiful Dex score.  However, Mobile has served me well in the past (but Drunken Technique will open that door nicely) and Lucky or Alert are always super helpful.  This time around, I'm favoring story over numbers, and I like the idea that this little Kobold can be favored by decent luck when things go awry; another testament to his survivability.  Tonight I choose Lucky, and call it a day.  Meaning, I shall shape up as such:

Name: Keesh
Race: Kobold
Class: Monk - 7 (Way Of The Drunken Master)
AC: 17
HP: 49
STR - 4 (-3)
DEX - 18 (+4)
CON - 10
INT - 13 (+1)
WIS - 16 (+3)
CHA - 12 (+1)

I'm going to use stale potatoes as projectiles, jerky as nunchucks, and spices as emotional currency.  Keesh seeks to improve everyday cuisine by unlocking your senses, enhancing your flavor palette, and pairing everything with chocolate - because you can't go wrong with chocolate.  Ever.
I'll let ya'll know how he plays at the table.
See you there.
-Adamus

Normally she plays casters, so I asked if she wanted something familiar, or something new.  She picked the latter, citing that a non-caster would be welcome.  Knowing her, and her trust in me, I decided to give her something with enough technical choices to engage her caster experience, without worrying about spells, and had enough oomph to keep her on the front lines (when normally she doesn't put herself there), and finally some quirk to make things a little silly.

She's mentioned wanting to one day try a Kobold, so now's a great time to try it out.  
To keep her AC high, I've awarded her a Ring Of Protection and some Bracers Of Defense.  We rolled a decent array so I'll put a high stat in Dexterity and round out her Wisdom, and our Unarmored Defense will take care of the rest.

So we started with an 18, 16, 14, 13, 12, and a 6.  We'll put that 6 in Charisma because that's hilarious, and the 14 in Strength.  18 and 16 in Dexterity and Wisdom respectively, and we'll fill out the 12 and 13 in Constitution and Intelligence.

Kobolds are one of the few races in 5E that suffer an attribute penalty.  -2 Strength and +2 Dexterity brings our Strength modifier to a lovely little +1 and our Dexterity already maxed out at 20 for a +5.  To keep this little spitfire moving, I grant the Mobile Feat (+10 feet of movement!, among other things) at Level 4, and then we'll up her Wisdom to 18 (so her AC goes up too).  

Add on her Grovel, Cower, and Beg feature, Darkvision, and Pack Tactics, this is rapidly becoming Team Advantage!  Slap a pair of sunglasses on that sucker, and Sunlight Sensitivity is no problemo.

Name: AKI
Race:  Kobold       Class: Monk 8, Way of the Open Hand
HP: 64    AC: 22    Speed: 55    Initiative: +5    
STR 12 (+1)   DEX 20 (+5)   CON 12 (+1)   INT 13 (+1)   WIS 18 (+4)   CHA 6 (-2)
Saves: STR +5, DEX +9   
Gear: BAGPIPES (used hilariously as a sled, and played every time she fells an enemy),
​Bracers of Defense*, Ring of Protection*, Ring of Mind Shielding* (just because)

In practice, Aki is bloody hilarious.  When paired with our spry halfling barbarian, the small brigade is a force to be reckoned with, felling just about every big foe I can throw at them.  In character interactions, Aki is adorable, ravenous, and entirely loud at the worst times.  Mechanically, she has lots to work with using her Ki Points, but it's always the same list, and Open Hand gives her plenty of options to pivot to what needs to be shut down each round - whether it be Reactions, pushing them away, knocking them down - plenty of choice points.  

As it stands, Aki is currently level 12 in our Knight Owls Season 3 campaign.  
I'd say the character was a hit.

See you at the table.
-Adamus

Okay.  Rant time.

I've been doing this gig for a while now.  I've devoted hundreds of hours to cultivating my craft of storytelling, rulings, incorporation, and character growth.  I've written thousands of words on my campaigns, I've written music for them, I paint my own materials and build my own sets.  I reflect daily on how to be a better storyteller and a better teacher on every side of the table.  I'm not perfect, no DM is, but I think I'm doing pretty damn good.  
Every encounter I've run, even if difficult, has multiple ways to win.  I never railroad, and I'm always open to creative solutions.  Even a suicide mission has a way out (though it may be a bit dishonorable, still a way out).

And yet.

Players who have played with me for years...are still questioning my intentions.  Like I haven't been making this my LITERAL JOB for LITERALLY YEARS or anything.  And I'm not talking like questioning my rulings, no; that's welcomed, we can discuss that stuff.  I don't want my players to be scared of bringing up elements for discussion.  What I'm talking about can be summed up into two main requests.

If I have continually given you scenarios where there are multiple ways to solve them, do not assume that THIS scenario is somehow a railroad.  I have NEVER navigated a party to a no-win scenario.  Enemies have been tough, but even those that feel "unfair"...have a puzzle.  There are ways around and through everything I set up.  Always.  That's how I've always done it; it leaves room for the players to kick ass in unexpected ways, and that's great.
  If the fight hasn't begun, and you haven't seen the literal character sheets I'm working from, how can you make ANY sweeping conclusions about how it's going to go...unless you're assuming that I'm trying to kill the party, which, if you have ever read this blog or listened to anything I do, you know would be ludicrous.  Challenge?  Yes.  Kill unfairly?  NEVER.
Also, until the conclusion of the plot arc...maybe don't pass judgement on it.  You might think you're the smartest cookie in the box, but that doesn't mean you're right.  And just because you're presented something "unfair," doesn't mean it's impossible.  Take a deep breath and figure it out - that's part of what makes this game work.
  AND we've already established that CRs are mostly BS so...what's your problem?  

​Try.  See what happens.  You might surprise yourself.
Maybe give me the benefit of the doubt...because that's what I've always done for my players (maybe even to a fault).

Wait, didn't that guy get away?
He did.
Was he on the ship?
You don't know.
Can you just tell us?
No.
C'mon!
Why?
So I can stop worrying about it!
...Then definitely no.
But he literally killed me last time!
So?
And we threw him in lava!  How did he survive?
Yes, isn't that interesting.  There is indeed a reason.
Really?  Is it because he's impossible to kill?
...No.  There's a reason, though.
Yeah?  What is it!  Tell me or I'll keep complaining and insulting your style of DMing, checking to see if you intended to paint our entire existence as a no-win scenario because you suck, and questioning your every move!
...Commence minimal spoilers to appease whining...

Now, the above scenario applies to only a few conversations that have prompted this post, but dare I put forth a radical idea: NOT KNOWING THE OUTCOME OF SOMETHING CAN BE EXCITING.  Not everything gets wrapped up in a neat little bow; loose ends are a part of storytelling, and that tense uncertainty is a GOOD THING in a narrative, especially a cooperative one.
  Do you REALLY need to know that you DEFINITELY killed that guy and he's never coming back?  Or could you be excited if he ever returned?  Could you rejoice in discovering IN PLAY why he seems immortal?  Solve the mystery, damn it. 

I have players that jump at the chance to figure this stuff out...and a tiny percentage of others that seem annoyed if they don't know everything - like they were somehow entitled to.  And if they didn't know, then it "just wasn't fair." 
Grow up.  Put on your big kid pants and deal with the fact that you may not know everything.  Mystery is a part of storytelling, hell it's a part of LIFE, and I don't feel like giving up my mysteries or loose ends because you're whining for them.  
If you're not sure you're going to win because your level is too low, or your perceived enemies have too many hit points, or he has too many spell slots, or he's resistant to my damage type, or his AC is too high (saving throws might suck, ya' know), or no one took healing spirit.

Figure.  It.  Out.  These are challenges, not impossibilities.  If you've learned anything from me, it should be that I'm not a jerk GM.  I kill my darlings, I'm happy when you win, I just want you to have a good time and feel satisfied.
Not all problems will be solved by mechanics and probability alone.  This is a game that promotes creative problem solving.  So do some problem solving!  Don't throw up your hands and say "I can't because my character blah blah blah blah - I've heard enough.  
I'll help you if you get stuck, but I ain't doing it for you, and I'm pretty sure that's how people like it.
Enough with this baloney sandwich. 

I'll see you at the table.

Warlocks act as Strikers - bringing divine punishment upon their enemies, but they're not tank-y in any way.  My key abilities are Charisma, Constitution, and Intelligence, in that order, so my Gnome racial bonuses are BOSS.  Let's stat it out:
STR 11 (+0)
DEX 12 (+1)
CON 16 (+3) = 15 + 1 at Level 4.
INT 16 (+3) = 14 + 2
WIS 10
CHA 20 (+5) = 17 + 2 + 1 at Level 4.

Being Small, my speed is only 5 squares, but it helps to have some Low-Light Vision too.
Armor is Cloth and Leather only, but my Defense Bonuses are +1 to Reflex and +1 Will.
Weapon Proficiencies: Simple Melee, Simple Ranged

1) ELDRITCH BLAST - Your At-Will powers are intrinsically tied to your class choice by theme and pact, so Eldritch Blast is an automatic At-Will power.  Your Eldritch Pact decides your other At-Will power...
2) ELDRITCH PACT - You get three choices: Fey, Infernal, Star.  This selection decides your second At-Will power, as it is mechanically tied to the flavor of the pact.  Star punishes movement toward you with Dire Radiance (Movement), Fey makes you Invisible with Eyebite (Buff), Infernal channels additional damage to a target when I take damage with Hellish Rebuke (Offense).  Each one is still an initial attack roll, with the appropriate follow-up bonus.  I'm going with Hellish Rebuke, because the language specifies that the target doesn't have to be the one that damages me; I could take damage from something else entirely, and still automatically deal 1d6+3 fire damage to my chosen target.  That's nice.  Also, I get Dark One's Blessing, which grants me temporary HP when a creature under my Warlock's Curse (see below), dies.
3) PRIME SHOT - As long as I'm the closest to my target (so no ally is closer than I), I get a +1 to all ranged attack rolls against that target.  Nifty.
4) SHADOW WALK - As long as I travel at least 3 squares on my turn, I gain Concealment until the end of my next turn.  Which is great, because I plan to keep my distance whenever possible.
5) WARLOCK'S CURSE - once per turn, as a Minor Action, I curse a dude.  That dude is more vulnerable to my nasty attacks and takes extra damage (+1d6 for now).  So there.
6) IMPLEMENTS -  Warlocks make use of specific powerful wands or rods or pact daggers that add extra powers or bonuses to their spells.  Cool beans.

A Level 4 dude has 2 At-Will Powers, 2 Encounter Powers (not including other class features, or racial abilities), 1 Utility Power, and 1 Daily Power.  Many of my powers are already pre-determined by my Infernal Pact choice, so let's just lay them out.

At-Wills 
1) Eldritch Blast - you can choose your Charisma or Constitution to help out with this spell, but you can't change later.  Charisma is my OBVIOUS CHOICE with a +5 modifier.  With the added benefit of this spell counting as a basic ranged attack, allies that grant such opportunities open up a world of hurt against our enemies.  
2) Hellish Rebuke - Constitution-based ranged attack vs. Reflex, so 1d6+3 fire damage if I hit.  The added bonus is they take an extra 1d6+3 fire damage if I take ANY damage before the end of my next turn.

Encounters
Racial) Fade Away - We've talked about this.  Take damage, go invisible!
1st Level) Diabolic Grasp - Another Constitution-based power that hits nice for 2d8+3, and will move the target 4 freaking squares!  
3rd Level) Fiery Bolt - 3d6+3 fire damage, and burst 1 with 1d6+3 fire damage, with another +3 for my Intelligence.  Ouch.

Daily
1) Armor of Agathys - Gain some 13 Temporary Hit points and any enemy that starts its turn adjacent to me takes 1d6+3 Cold damage until the END OF THE ENCOUNTER.

Utility - Daily
2nd Level) Fiendish Resilience - Minor Action to give myself 8 temporary hit points.  Meh.  No choice in the matter.

FEAT SELECTION
1) Improved Initiative - the earlier I go, the better.  +4.
2) Improved Dark One's Blessing - when a Cursed enemy drops to 0, I'll gain 7 temp HP instead of 4.
​4) Magic Of The Mists - retain Fade Away when I attack.  Booyah.

Basic Melee = Sickle; +4 to hit, 1d6 damage --- Sickles have +2 Proficiency, + Strength (0) + 1/2 Level (2)
Basic Ranged = Hand Crossbow; +5 to hit, 1d6+1 damage --- Hand Crossbows have +2 Proficiency + Dex (1) + 1/2 Level (2)*
**I don't plan on using this, as my Eldritch Blast counts as a Basic Ranged Attack.  1d10+5, with a +9 to hit is way better.**
Implement: Magic Tome = +1 Attack and Damage rolls, but on a Critical add 1d6 damage.
At-Will Powers: ELDRITCH BLAST, Hellish Rebuke
Encounter Powers: Fade Away [R], Diabolic Grasp, Fiery Bolt
Daily Powers: Armor of Agathys

HP: 30 (15 at level 1, +5 per level [15])
Healing Surges:  9 (6+3)   Surge Value: 7
AC: 15 --- (10+1/2 level [12]+Dexterity Mod [1]+Leather Armor [2]
Fortitude: 15 --- (10+1/2 Level [12]+Con Mod [3])
Reflex: 16 --- (Int +3 + 12 + 1)
Will: 18 --- (Cha +5 + 12 + 1)
Trained Skills: Arcana, Bluff, Intimidate, Streetwise

Gnome made.  Let's blow some stuff up.
See you at the table.
​-Adamus

Avengers act as Strikers - bringing divine punishment upon their enemies, but they're not tank-y in any way.  My key abilities are Wisdom, Dexterity, and Intelligence, in that order, so my Deva racial bonuses are right ON POINT.  Let's stat it out:
STR 11 (+0)
DEX 18 (+4) = 17 + 1 at Level 4.
CON 12 (+1)
INT 16 (+3) = 14 + 2
WIS 18 (+4) = 15 + 2 + 1 at Level 4.
CHA 10 (+0)

Armor is Cloth only, so I'm pleased that my Defense Bonuses are +1 to Fortitude, Reflex, and Will.
Weapon Proficiencies: Simple and Martial Melee, and just Simple Ranged (so I guess I'm going up close and personal)
Now, that Armor proficiency feels a bit disappointing, but the Avenger gets a few little features to help out their "battle cleric" status:
1) ARMOR OF FAITH - as long as I'm not in heavy armor or using a shield, my deity rewards my courage in the face of certain doom with a +3 bonus to my AC.
2) AVENGER'S CENSURE - I choose one of two bonuses that tie directly to a creature that is the target of my Oath Of Enmity (what up, 5E Vengeance Paladin?), Pursuit or Retribution.  I like the damage bump (3 from my Int) of Retribution, as well as the synergy in Power selection later (you'll see), so I'll go with that.
3) OATH OF ENMITY - select a chosen prey, and take the best of two attacks on them until the end of the Encounter as a Minor Action.  Woof.  Probability is now on my side.
4) CHANNEL DIVINITY - you start with two Channel Divinity powers (more if you take certain Feats): Abjure Undead (deal sick damage to one undead target and immobilize them) and Divine Guidance (let an ally roll twice for an attack).  Both Encounter powers, so I've got 'em each fight.

A Level 4 dude has 2 At-Will Powers, 2 Encounter Powers (not including other class features, or racial abilities), 1 Utility Power, and 1 Daily Power.  Let's get to it.

At-Wills - my focus is on dealing decent damage and chasing down opponents so I can smite the crud out of them:
1) Bond of Pursuit - Weapon attack plus Wisdom Modifier damage, but the kicker is that I can chase down the target if he ends his turn away from me.
2) Bond of Retribution - decent damage and radiant damage tied to my Intelligence if an enemy other than my target smacks me.  That'll learn 'em good.  :)

Encounters
Racial) Memory of a Thousand Lifetimes - didn't like that roll?  Let's add 1d6 to it!
Class Feature [CF]) Oath of Enmity - roll two attacks and take the better result for the whole fight or when the thing dies.  All that for a Minor Action.
CF) Channel Divinity: Abjure Undead - immobilize and wreck one undead creature.
CF) Channel Divinity: Divine Guidance - when an ally attacks your Enmity target, have them roll twice and take the better result.  Yes please hit my quarry!
1st Level) Avenging Echo - Don't stand so close to me!  Until the end of my next turn, enemies near me take 8 radiant damage (5 + 3 from my Int because of Censure of Retribution).
3rd Level) Halo Of Fire - same deal as Echo, but better weapon damage, and this time it's 8 fire damage.


Daily
1) Temple Of Light - Double weapon damage + Wisdom radiance AND it creates a zone of extra damage that follows the target.  Creatures struck by me in such a zone take extra damage.  I see this limiting a target's movement, as the spillover damage to their own allies is less than helpful.

Utility - Encounter
2nd Level) Resonant Escape - triggered by being hit, or missed, I get to teleport a few squares away.  Cool.

FEAT SELECTION
1) Improved Armor Of Faith - an additional bonus to AC that increases at later levels (+1 for now)
2) Melee Training - effectively (if I pick Dexterity) turns my basic melee attacks into 5E finesse weapons, so I can use my Dexterity modifier to slice the junk out of enemies instead of Strength.
​4) Melora's Tide - another Channel Divinity option that grants some regeneration to me or an ally until we're not half dead.

Basic Melee = Longsword; +9 to hit, 1d8+4 damage --- Longswords have +3 Proficiency, + Dexterity (4) + 1/2 Level (2)
Basic Ranged = Crossbow; +8 to hit, 1d8+4 damage --- Crossbows have +2 Proficiency + Dex (4) + 1/2 Level (2)
At-Will Powers: Bond Of Pursuit, Bond Of Retribution
Encounter Powers: Memory of a Thousand Lifetimes (Racial), Oath Of Enmity (CF), CD Abjure Undead (CF), CD Divine Guidance (CF), Avenging Echo, Halo Of Fire, Resonant Escape (Utility)
Daily Powers: Temple Of Light

HP: 33 (15 at level 1, +6 per level [18])
Healing Surges: 8     Surge Value: 8
AC: 20 --- (10+1/2 level [12]+Dexterity Mod [4]+Armor Of Faith [4]
Fortitude: 14 --- (Con Mod [1] + 12 + 1)
Reflex: 17 --- (Dex +4 + 12 + 1)
Will: 17 --- (Wis +4 + 12 + 1)
Trained Skills: Religion + Acrobatics, Heal, Perception

Time to kick some butt, Vered Felstaff.  Let's rock.

See you at the table.
​- Adamus

Gender-bending is a foregone conclusion when you are a Game Master.  Unless you're running a completely male or female world (I mean...why?), the assumption follows that if you are playing as every character that is not another player-character, you will undoubtedly play a character that is the opposite sex that you are.  
  And we've all seen some cringe-worthy elements come out of this with newer DMs.  A dude that plays all the ladies like lascivious harlots with high-pitched voices (because all women CLEARLY sound like THAT), or an awesome dudette playing all the men similarly but down two octaves.  I get it, we're learning, and their range will (I hope) increase.
  I'm happy to say I came from the middle when it came to voice.  I was blessed with a love of the theater, and I adore trying out new voices, dialects, and accents.  Some I've blended into regional accents for my fictional world, and that took some time!  It's great to look back, and when I play ladies, they run the gamut of high to lower pitches.  Most tend to sit in soft palette, and elevate slightly.  But...it's not about the voice.
  Characters are EMBODIED.  A lot can change by a simple shift in posture and position.  How a person moves, in face and body language, is even more important than how they sound.  A shifty urchin looks shifty (regardless of gender), and a stoic knight is no less stoic with feminine features; both can also be seductive, or monstrous, or terrifying.  Their actions and body language speak more than any masculine or feminine features would at their base.  A lot of it ties more into the variables of communication, interest, and an alignment of style.
  I'd be lying if I said gender DIDN'T play a role, but for me, I find it a little more complex.

I think I played Vanora to feel sexy at a time in my life that I certainly didn't.  As frame, many of my men were shy and awkward (like me), or far too exuberant and annoying (like a cartoon version of what not to be), and my women, though cool, had what I thought was lacking in personality.  Now, Vanora was not flirtatious; she was confident.  Not once did she hit on anyone in the game, but I knew she could rock it if it came up.  She was sensual in her movements, almost animal-like (Aasimar Shifter, Pathfinder), and I wanted to experience an otherworldly perspective, separated yet powerful, and highly feminine.  And the perspective was...neutral.  In fact, it became a piece far more about characterization; the subtle aspects of a person - their flaws, ideals, and the deeper shifting layers of emotional sand.  It was a lesson in HUMANITY most of all.  As the campaign fizzled out, her lessons reformed in the creature known as Lorelai in Gray Owls, except ten-fold, and much more complex, dangerous, and alluring.
  And I end up playing a lot of women in my games, and not to feel sexy.  Actually, I'm very proud of the women of Io in every age.  I find I play them like people, rather than women or men, which might sound silly to some of you, but I think that that's the best way for me.  Instead of gender first, it's always character.  There's no sexism in Io (at least not in any frame that is acceptable), so a good leader is a good leader, regardless of gender.  A ruthless tyrant is still a tyrant, whether it a man, woman, or anything in between.  Yet, my players have had little trouble identifying who I'm playing and when (there is a family of strong women that all sounded a little similar early on, but I've adapted), and usually grasp their gender quickly.
  In a lot of ways, playing women helped me consider people as people.  I didn't want to box myself into tired narrative cliches or tropes, so to break free I played a person who just happens to be female, male, or something else.  Their gender is secondary to their personality.  What a concept to consider, yet I do believe - as a clearly heterosexual man - that women hold certain extra powers over those that would be interested in them, and the same is true for any gender that interests another.
  So of course this swings toward orientation, at least at first.  Love is love in Io; you love whom or what you want (as long as you're not hurting anyone), so the societal pressures that surround one's orientations that we feel so viscerally today...don't exist here.  And it doesn't define someone's prevalent or lack of partners.  Let's take Cecil, a high-elf bard of the court in Gray Owls, who, despite being married to probably one of the most frighteningly-powerful women I've ever played, has to play the field of information, favors, and rapport in order to sway the odds in the favor of his family and his assets.  Cecil is a listener, first and foremost, and can flip on a dime whether to be masculine or feminine and all levels between as the situation allows so he can make the other in the room feel the most comfortable...whether that's manipulative or not.  But for me, it forces me to wait and pick my moves carefully, embracing whatever side I need to and being open to multiple possibilities; a perspective of a tactically sound mind who will wield physical and mental intimacy to position others is a thing of beauty. 
  Contrast this with Obidia Skurr, the Master Slate Duelist of Feathertongue, who is concretely gay yet classically masculine, and chooses partners rarely, if at all.  He never uses his sexuality overtly as a tactic; it is a subtle piece of himself that he chooses to save for only his most vulnerable times.  A private person; willing to help, but only willing to open himself up to those that truly matter, yet he is pursued for his mystery.  (Not the mystery of his orientation, mind you, because that doesn't matter).  Whereas Alejandro Esuarve, definitively pansexual, can't get anything in bed due to his aggressively abrasive and annoying personality.  Neither is a commentary on either orientation, and such an orientation is secondary to who they are as people.  Whom we choose to love is really only a small piece of who we completely are, and we can choose to wear that intimate choice on our sleeve or express it only in the quiet, special moments.  Neither is hiding, and both are completely normal.  And yet still I can play the strong and masculine Lyla Ironwood, who (at this point in the campaign) hasn't expressed any shred of sexuality or interest in anyone, and still get hit on by the party's Barbarian, even though he knows she can rip his heart out.  People are interested in who they're interested in, and each of those is a layered person (which I dare say is MUCH more attractive).  ;)

Too often, we find ourselves in camps of judgment, across picket lines of which fun is most "right."  We view one side in a given context, and omit others, yet we forget key powerful facts of the human identity.  A person using their sexuality as a weapon is empowering and a person wielding a great sword in a huge battle is also empowering.  The existence of one does not belittle or negate the existence of the other.  And you know the best thing?  That can be the same person.  True agency is having a say in how you portray yourself in every given moment; a badass soldier can be a sexy seductress, and a sexy seductress can be badass soldier, and people WANT TO BE BOTH at different times, and run the oscillation between many others.  The ability to pivot to what is most appropriate given the situation is an adaptable skill that so many desire, yet have little practice in.  Wouldn't it be great if we could feel strong AND sexy?  They're not exclusive, people.  
  I guess my main point in exploring this deeply is that, similar to my post on Boundaries, I build and play characters from a state of ideal representation.  I'd be silly if I didn't reference the cruel fact that we fight for empowerment and representation because of a long history where it was taken from us, and how cool would it be if the core aspects of ourselves could be expressed without the barriers we have to punch through today.  If I want to look good, I will.  My choice to be fabulous.  My choice to fight.  My choice to breathe.  My choice to express myself however I see fit.
  And I choose unhinged Druid Assassin who believes she's descended from a long line of Tabaxi, despite being human.  :)  That fun is not wrong, and I'll probably learn something from it, too.

I expect it at every one of my tables now; especially the one-shots.  One of the gals is going to play a guy, and I'm totally down.  Maybe it's just to be different, gain a new perspective, or to practice their own identity.  Yeah.  Practice.
So much of what we do at each table involves communication, problem-solving, complex fantasy cooperative storytelling...and social interaction.  I'd be an idiot if I said my characters were not related to me SOMEHOW, as each will undoubtedly represent or be manifested from an aspect of oneself.  They may grow and change, but, actually, so are you (the player).  Each character we play is intrinsically tied to a piece of us, and will affect us in ways we may not have planned for.
  Which is why when I witness players step outside (or inside) their comfort zones with new characters or explorative decisions I internally squee with glee.  You now get to experience, in a safe and imaginative space, actual feedback on character choices, orientations, responses, communication...  And if you offend, or miscommunicate, or cause a mass genocide - it's okay, because this is a game, and you can try again.  That's one rep.  Take the feedback, apply where you can, and we'll continue to grow together.
  
  And 5th Edition has done quite a lot for representation.  Couple this with Io's world, and my players have a lot of opportunity to explore themselves (as theme and appropriate for each age group in campaign, of course) in the shoes of each character.  Maybe you're a girl that's figuring out if you like girls...so you play a guy character and try flirting out.  Or you play a girl character who is bisexual, or lesbian, or pan.  Who knows?  Maybe you're a guy that would like to see what happens if you play a girl; will your perspective change, your thoughts, your motivations?  What if your character is asexual?  What does that mean, how would I play that?  What if I'm a boy, and I identify as a girl?  How do I explore that?
How does the group react to your bend, or your orientation?  Do they support you, reject you, or are just uncomfortable?  Are they uncertain, and need to consider a few things for themselves?  

Maybe they're actually decent people and accept you for who you are, and try to help wherever they can.  :)  
  I'm happy to say that I have players that decided, through their experiences pursuing an orientation they were uncertain of, to come out to their family and fight for agency in their own life.  They used their character to harness the warrior inside, and actually fight for what made them happy.  That's the beauty of this game; it's an opportunity to find your Sword and Shield, and rise above the walls you built around yourself.  It is a forge, and when building yourself, you can always start over.  You can always rewrite your narrative; tell yourself a new story.

And what we're seeing, more and more, is how little it actually matters at the table what sort of orientation, gender, or identity you wish to pursue.  Those aspects of yourself (as long as they don't hurt others, and respect each other's boundaries) will be accepted at my table, and many others.  However, those aspects are only tiny pieces of a much greater YOU.  

What becomes possible when we expunge the social gender norms present today in what separates the expectations of a boy or a girl or the spectrum between, and embrace only the commonality of character and the sliding gradient of alignment point to point; decision to decision? Then, we are only measured by our actions, not solely by our gender, and we are but people drifting together.  Sometimes we have a heading, others not, and either way, the journey is our own as we grow and learn and love together.  
Huh.
​
Forever pride.  Forever human.
See you at the table.
​-Adamus

If players are escalating each other, and failing to take responsibility for such actions, instead citing the other as the problem...  Congratulations, you're kindergartners.  I'm so proud.  Take responsibility for your own actions; if you're perpetually late, fix that.  If you seem to clash with another player, discern why (don't just let it sit there, this is an opportunity to grow), and ACT on it.  If you always cite others as the problem, and evidence suggests the contrary, then you might be playing victim - own that and grow up.  
  This might seem like some tough love right now, but a role-playing group is a vulnerable thing.  Playing with others can be hard, and this setting is especially beautiful in how accepting it can be.  I am so honored to have cultivated a community that legitimately cares about its members and their wellbeing, mental health included, and am horrified when I hear of the awful experiences people have come from.  And yet, none of us are perfect.  We are all seeking our best selves through play with others, and because we all come from different places, there are bound to be some clashes.  These moments, as difficult as they might be, are opportunities to grow, pivot, and reflect.  And the community will be there to help you.

  However, if you find yourself UNWILLING to grow or adapt to smooth things over, if it rallies against your own concept of yourself and "you've tried everything," then maybe this isn't the group for you.  Sometimes taking space IS the best course of action; removing yourself from the situation gives context and perspective where none were present before.  
Luckily, we DO exist in a space where there is always another group to try.  :).  We'll wait for you.

See you at the table.
- Adamus

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Thursday D&D is now my oldest campaign.  Running since my inception into the Questers' Way model, they've been fighting cultists, talking to dragons, crushing beholders, and squaring off against Ancient Ones riding gargantuan titans for nearly 3 years now.  And last Thursday marked the close of the final arc of the story.  
  We'll have one last dungeon crawl at level 20, 5 years later, as our epilogue next week.  After that, 150 years pass into the fourth age of Io, and we start anew at Level 2.  It's been quite a journey, and they're not the easiest group to run ;), but the lessons are real with this crew and I've changed a lot since we started.  
Here's what I picked up.

When I started the Thursday game, I was coming off a blend of 10 years running and teaching Pathfinder, and though I fell in love quickly with 5E, I had made some assumptions regarding its player options.
  The system is deceptively simple and highly accessible, but I had listened to the cry-babies online declaring it "D&D Basic," and decided to create specific Prestige Classes based around lore and player discovery.  It created a very special and unique option inside my custom world, where "secret" classes actually existed that could augment player builds, and could only upgrade through experimentation, player exploration, and discovery into the deep layers of the world's history.  I still think it was a great decision.  It adds a lot of rewards for players that invest of themselves in the history and machinations of this fantasy you've spent so much time on.
  But after two years of deep-diving mechanics, game mastering, game design, player-master interaction, social development, and the study of flow...  I realize I made a boo-boo.  Not a mistake in flavor, nor in reward, but in mechanics.
It's a little thing, and the more you do the more you realize that "it's the little things" that matter most.  In this case, my Prestige Class of the Aegis - a powerhouse of a Cleric that wields the souls of the dead to unleash fury upon her enemies - and the final form of a Ranger with a Legacy Bow - a weapon that levels up with you; semi-sentient and created by a god - created an issue with Action Economy and TMRPA (Too Much Rolling Per Action), respectively.  
  The Aegis's main mechanic involves gaining Furies - souls of dead warriors unwilling to pass on - and spending them like Ki Points to unleash powerful attacks, augment healing spells, and create more options.  Unfortunately, as long as you have Furies to burn, there's no limit to their use, and at high level in any class, you're already managing so much...  It eats up time easy when you're able to summon an Action Surge every turn AND cast AND fight.  On the other side of the table, the crazy-bow-now-living-winged-armor attached to the Ranger added an extra attack, but the main time suck is derived from two main extra elements in play: the bow requires a Con save when it hits or the target takes extra necrotic damage.  It's also got a crazy bonus (with a high level character with max Dex), so hitting is often, mean more rolls for me.  On top of this, IF she rolls a natural 20 on the bow, she rolls Constitution damage on the target, on top of everything else.  Moving forward, leveled up weapons will deal static numbers, instead of rolling more...  And in terms of time, it always feels more effective in flow and execution to have a power spike (the awesome power of rolling 8d6 for a Fireball) than many small spikes of damage, so if I can eliminate the parceled rolls where I can, everyone still feels effective, but turns take less time.

In the fourth age, Io-Shar, though it is a more industrial time period of naval exploration (after the world flooded), home-brew materials are much tighter and more balanced; action economy manipulations have higher costs, and there's less compounded rolling.  The bonuses are also much more subtle; there isn't a need to add a whole new system to track when it could be as simple as a palette swap in damage type.  New age, new prestige classes and custom feats open up (hello, Knife Expert), but this play test has heavily informed what special elements are extended to the player.  A little goes a long way - there is an elegance in that design, and it keeps the playing field even across the table.
  I look forward to the interesting things I can give them this time around.  :)

NPC's can be tricky business.  
  Introduce them as careful lore drops, powerful relationships, killer resources...but never have them solve a problem for the players.  Good gods.  Holy cows on toast with mayonnaise.  Don't do it.  
NPC ex machina is not the way to go if it comes out of nowhere.
  Well-established order of guards and officers?  Sure thing.  Sudden mass teleport wizard is sudden.  If it feels like a puzzle to the players and they're enjoying solving it, don't help them with an NPC.  Hints are fine, solutions can hurt the party.  
​...Unless they're utterly lost and confused.  Help them along, but don't do it for them.  EVER.  If you do, you run the risk of insulting them and equally "playing without them."  And that's just rude.  ;)

Some players want their background conflicts resolved in the grand arc of the story, while others use their backgrounds predominantly to inform their play style from session 1 and need it no longer.  
  Now, this group in particular was one where I didn't get that feel easy from most of them.  With a high mix reactive players with a few proactive ones, some offering extensive background information while others offered a few sentences explained away, the hindsight of the matter is obvious but the player execution and my observations were misunderstood often.  When you give a hook that to you is obvious, but the player misses completely, and therefore doesn't pursue it, one might assume that the view of their background fits into the former category.
  Compounding confusion, still, are those that feed very little into the overall narrative, but then wonder when "their story" will be featured, but say nothing - instead assuming they were forgotten.  Please talk to your DM; I won't be offended - it's much worse if you don't approach the issue until the end of the campaign and I wonder why NO ONE SAID ANYTHING.  :)
Like many GMs out there, I'm not a *dick*, but I can't read minds.  There are so many stories of a player misinterpreting a DM's intention, or of the GM making an assumption about a scenario that ended up being incorrect, or seeming to ignore obvious intentions.  In the same vein of: "if I knew it was a problem, I would have fixed it right away," though we can intuit quite a bit the longer we're at the table, our human nature begs us to err.  We miss things, we get caught up in the narrative, and we lose sight of players.  I am imperfect, as are we all, so open communication helps everyone.  Also, GMs, CHECK IN WITH YOUR PLAYERS MORE.  I picked this up as a requirement when I started Gray Owls and OH MY GOODNESS is it an essential element at every table.  I don't know how it took me that long to put in my workflow OMG.  
Moving forward, with each new campaign, I've started to put together a few questions for character creation; some fulfill the essential detail of world building, while others touch on player intentions - what do they want to get out of this experience?

1. Where was your character born?  Describe it as best you can; do you reflect on this place positively or negatively?  Would you ever want to return?  Why?  Do you have a family there?  How did they treat you?  Were there any important people in your life growing up?  Why did you leave?
2. What is your character's goal in life; what do you seek?  When did you "grow up" and start taking care of yourself?
3. What emotion best describes your character?  What emotion do you bring out in others?
4. How do you carry yourself?  What are your means/dress/attitude as you move through life?  What do find valuable?
5. What is your comfort zone?  What is your greatest fear?  Personal tastes, quirks, and opinions?
6. Player: What kind of story do you see your character fitting into?  What role do you see them filling?
7. Player: Please weigh (3 being most important to you, 1 being least important) the Three Pillars - Combat/Social/Exploration
8. Player: How do you interpret your play style?  What are your pet peeves?  What do you respond well to?
9. Player: How do you want your character to die? (this is more important than you think; it strikes at the heart of our own values - your story could end abruptly, and if it did, how would they meet that end do you think?)
10. Player: Do you want your background details to be referenced or hooked into the story?  You can always change your mind - just let me know.

Now, especially number 10 I can see a few of my fellow GMs hemming and hawing over.  "You mean we have to bend over backwards to make this character's weird backstory fit into OUR GRAND NARRATIVE???  How dare they assume they'd be so important - they should be happy just to be playing!"  ...Hmm.  
  This is a group game, and it's really important that everyone understands the type of experience they're getting into.  Clear expectations are a good thing; Trust and Empathy are two main factors to building a great table of play.  Now, do I have to make that character's stuff the most important element all the time?  No.  Absolutely not.  But I can give them sprinkles of content more directly spun into the story.  It won't happen all the time, and sometimes it might not even come up, but IF I KNOW going into this that there is a clear desire to wrap up a specific story thread, I can find more ORGANIC ways to weave and tie these disparate threads together.  It might even be a limiter of location; hints of the conflict in the north (echoes of another character's story), but we don't need to go there now.  It's just a sprinkle.  
Everyone's connected to something.  Everyone's from somewhere.  We don't know everything going in; the mystery is the fun part, and some players want their mystery.  Others don't care for it; I need to know which one you are.

And when they do, their real play styles come out.  It's amazing what comfort will do for the table, and how much it reveals what a comfortable player actually WANTS to play, and if that concept doesn't jive with how their current class works, there will undoubtedly be a desire to play something different. 
  The more this group learned about how the game works, the more effective they became, but also the more some of them drifted toward other builds, concepts, and ideas.  This type of momentum is helpful to notice; in a way, it reveals a player's true nature.  Like the first campaign was our test run.  The next one is where we're going to really shine; players and DM alike.  We take what we learned about the game, ourselves, our styles, and how to advocate for the experience we want...and finally, just PLAY.

See you at the table.
-Adamus

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