Key Traits Through Character: Barbarian For the longest time, I would vacillate between two distinct character builds: full martial powerhouse or full controller caster. The times that I would move between the two were great learning experiences, but I would rarely find my stride. Only recently have I had the opportunities to flex my character building muscles and engage in some great role-playing outside of that comfort zone (in no small part due to my team of GMs being in charge of their own groups that I can take part in). But in the beginning, back in the beginnings of Pathfinder and before the debacle that was 4th Edition (still a decent system, just poorly received - more on that later), I would cut my teeth on playing Grignor, my half-orc barbarian. Grignor was a product of some great physical rolls at character creation, so, as a balance, the DM and I agreed that he would be a little...off. Speaking in a third-person-faux-russian accent most of the time, Grignor's average intelligence was undermined constantly by his impulsive nature and low wisdom, often getting the party into some zany antics...then, by sheer force of character and overwhelming power, pulling the party back through. It was the latter instances that taught me the most about the power the barbarian could possess. The main mechanic of such a class, in many systems, is their Rage Feature. Flying into a Rage grants the barbarian particular bonuses that give them the fighting edge in combat and often increase their survivability. In a party of mostly casters and a custom rogue sub-type, the party would buff the heck out of Grignor and he would charge whatever the enemy was with the utmost confidence. Dragons, land sharks, mind flayers, beholders, and a 100-foot tall flesh tornado...we would stand victorious through teamwork, and quite a lot of insane force of will and confidence. So here, in the Xfinity Theatre in Hartford, joining together with 2000 others as we sing along to Bad Wolves' cover of the Cranberries's Zombie; like one angry, tumultuous, sonic wave of force and rage - I am sent back to those days, and wonder what I learned so profoundly through playing that character, and how it has changed me to this day. Here, let me share some life lessons learned from playing a Barbarian. 1) Anger Can Be A Tool I was a frustrated kid. Though my standard disposition is pretty pleasant, and I was by no means one to wail against the system, but I was definitely weird. I was prone to overthinking things, then responding in often angry or violent ways. These were acts of frustration directed at my own inability to express myself; they weren't sudden - they built up over time, and they were always a product of directing that anger inward, toward self-improvement. But when you're a weird kid anyway, and kids can be cruel, sometimes you lash out. These outbursts didn't help in making or keeping friends, so I worked out something. My anger could be a tool. That powerful energy surging through me could be focused on a task - yard work, writing, exercising, composing - something that took my whole focus, and I could perform furiously without incurring penalty. Later, through meditation and the martial arts, I would continue to control and send this energy into work or words or mental clarity (after a little "primal scream therapy," that is). My anger was not "wrong," it just needed to be funneled into something useful. As a barbarian, your Rage is only used effectively in combat, and is done beautifully. The rest of the time, you can be an otherwise intelligent, if not dopey (in my case) adventurer in high-flying shenanigans. But WHEN you get angry - and let's face it, there's a lot to be angry at - take a deep breath and focus that surge of energy on something useful. Any berserker knows that if you don't pick your targets, you're a danger to yourself, your party, and your enemies all at once - and nobody wants that. Wield it like the great axe it is, and change something that needs it, instead of destroying what's closest. 2) Physical Prowess and Confidence Can Power You Through I was never an athlete, but my physicality has always been very important to me. I never like feeling physically weak, and once I learned how to do a proper push-up, no one was going to stop me, but momentum was difficult. I would often shift between months of intense work outs, and months of inactivity and excuses. During the former, I was often alert, focused, and confident - even on the days that I wasn't prepared for things. Keeping a consistent workout schedule, even with hang-ups, shortening workouts, and a lack of results (more on that when we talk about the Monk) - kept my confidence flowing. I knew how much I could lift, how many miles I could run, and my overall fitness level at all times. I knew I could make my way through most of what was being thrown at me because I knew my limits, and where I could push. In play, the barbarian can back up their tough talk because they're built to be tanks. They can, like Grignor, power themselves and their party through tough situations if by nothing but a primal force of will and the confidence that they won't go down without one hell of a fight. 3) Emotion Is The Breath Of Life In lives of tact and social preparedness, moments of raw emotion are often avoided. Unfortunately, I feel, such moments - no matter how intense - reveal our humanity in one of its greatest forms. We are emotional beings. We feel, we change, we influence, we inspire, and we create - through the expression of those raw emotions. Some of my best work was produced from deep sadness, introspection, or unbridled anger. When we feel these extremes and let them flow as energy, we become capable of great things and great change. Barbarians wield their high emotions as fuel for their Rage, often citing distinct background traits or triggers, and all are tied to their inner-most feelings. It is this level of feeling that can put people off, or set them aflame, but it is an important aspect that further illustrates the depth to which the barbarian cares. We are complex beings, not one-trick ponies, and our loves and hates run much deeper than we think. Do not fear them - let them flow, then reflect on what they might mean. Swing low, sweet greatsword.
I'll see you at the table. -Adamus
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We've all been there. The dragon just bellowed its war cry and lifted into the air after our initial surprise attack (where we must have done, what, over a hundred points of damage!?) We scatter, trying to spread out and away from its impending breath...only to be hit anyway by one its frustrating Legendary Actions. Plans now cast aside in favor of stopping the cleric from being melted, I rush over and force feed them a healing potion...only to be stepped on by the dragon on its actual turn, and it proceeds to crit me to death. Now at zero hit points and bleeding out, the blasted ancient creature decides to get one more strike in on my broken body, and there goes a death save. With the dragon on top of me, my allies only really have one more player turn to get to me before this ancient and intelligent being decides to step on me again with their now replenished Legendary Actions. "But I'm down!" I say, desperate to hold onto this character just a little longer. The DM shrugs, with a slight grin, and I try to hang onto hope. The healing word comes in the nick of time and I'm conscious again...only to be rended in half by the green dragon. Curse words follow...but I'm cool with it. Should I be? Or was that DM being a jerk? The Separation of GM and Character Behind the screen, the GM or DM is responsible for every creature the party interacts with, whether that be through combat, exploration, social situations, or a mixture of these. A good GM will do their best to embody the voice, the physicality, and mental acuity of each creature; the latter here informs their tactics best in combat. And combat, from the enemy's perspective, is NOT fun for them. They are in a life or death scenario; they aren't just going to lay down and die, just as you wouldn't. Now, smarter creatures utilize better tactics. Creatures in better control of themselves won't be goaded into a trap. Creatures of average intelligence can tell when things aren't going well, and might try to run. This is why beasts get hunted; they often don't know when to flee or fight, and those that do, often live to another day. Why do I bring all this up? Because none of these creatures are me. I have to personify them; get inside their head, judge their level of tactics, their emotions, their level of courage, and many, many other factors in order to represent them properly. Every good DM needs to do this, and nasty creatures are nasty; evil creatures are evil; they don't care that you're the hero of this story - they want to eat your face, or your heart, or your soul. And that should be a dangerous encounter. Now, if the creature behaves outside of their type or their intelligence, then maybe the DM is being a jerk, but I argue that is rarely the case, unless it's becoming a habit. Remember, asinine creatures can make intelligent decisions. I, for example, will use an Intelligence check to see if the creature notices a possible tactic (they often fail, as is their way), but at least it's possible. Conversely, the same is true. Intelligent enemies can make poor decisions due to a number of factors. Perhaps they are emotionally compromised - like when they see a character murder one of their wyrm children; maybe they are filled with vengeance toward the Ranger/Rogue that just sneak attacked them for 57 HP, so they ignore the high possibility of their own demise in favor of attacking the one who has hurt them so deeply; or maybe their life is already forfeit, and they serve a greater purpose. It came up in the first year of play on Thursday D&D (Group B). They were fighting a set of Legionnaires, led by a nasty Cleric of Air and Darkness. She was pretty cool; she had an adapted mace of sundering and a shield that could swallow spells, then reflect them back to enemies at twice the strength. She was also full of pride in her own abilities, having already had much success in laying waste to previous adventuring parties. It was this pride that killed her. She waited literally 6 seconds too long to make her escape...and the party wrecked her. Now, note that I say that "she waited too long," not me. It was the character's pride and perception (literally a failed Wisdom save) that got her killed. I, the DM, saw the tide turning, but SHE did not. Me, Adamus, is NOT the character of Lady Vesheen of the Legion of the Rage. And that separation has to be true with every enemy they fight, every character they interact with, and every creature they meet. So. If an intelligent, spell-casting dragon is sitting on top of you, and they are well aware of the impact of your character's efforts (because they SAW YOU and your allies, and are feeling the wounds that you have made), you can bet your poor butt that that dragon's gonna' make sure you stay down. That fits in with an older creature; it didn't survive this long by allowing its enemies time to get up. Beware intelligent enemies, and beware old enemies. There's a reason that 20th-level wizard is still around, and it ain't pretty. I try very hard to give each character a voice and personality that is not my own, to further solidify the separation. This way, my players know when I break character to address them out of game, and when they're talking to that mean ol' dragon and need to be on their guard. Sometimes, I can even apologize for the actions of the creature...but I justify them from its perspective. Yes, it sucks that the Beholder disintegrated you, but it recognized you as the healer, and it was tired of its prey healing. ;) And when those connections are made by the creature - key observations and mindless primal reactions alike - I try to embody this connection with my voice, my tone, and my description of the creature's movements. This way I can communicate to them that THE ENEMY took notice, not me, the DM. If the enemy did not take notice, then I don't act like they did. This seems to help my players maneuver around the creature they are facing, in combat or role-playing, based on how they behave, and they never seem to take it personally if things go bad. Motivations, Consequences, and Vengeance All characters are motivated by something, and often in combat, that thing is SURVIVAL. They want to survive. And, most likely, they will utilize whatever they can to ensure that survival, or the survival of others. When players make decisions, there are consequences. Some of these decisions are dangerous, others silly, and still others fantastic, but all have consequences, and all are natural consequences. If you chop off the head of the first guard you meet in a new city...then the entire contingent of 40 guards are now descending upon you (because you killed a guard) to arrest and, if you resist, kill you...This consequence is rooted within the rules and LAWS of the world. This is not the DM acting out of vengeance - it is a natural consequence to the character's action. Also, if the characters got quite lucky and super creative and absolutely wrecked the mob boss halfway through the campaign (as opposed to the final battle at its close)...and instead, his mid-bosses have begun an in-fighting extravaganza in order to seize power. This is an awesome natural consequence to a great fight, and opens the doors to a more complex arc. However, if your character is being annoying and the DM has had it with your Baloney Sandwich, and a literal mindflayer lich riding a beholder bursts out of the ground... This is vengeance. Consequences are a product of the initial action, and are thus related. A vengeful action is unrelated. Vengeance GMs go after your character for no discernible reason, or use unfair tactics and justify it with "because I'm the DM." Consequence GMs go after your character because you shot the wizard with an arrow and they recognize you as a threat. There. Is. A. Difference. Don't be a Vengeance DM. You're ruining it for the rest of us. :) See you at the table.
-Adamus GM's Note: The following tips are also life tips (as any tabletop tip inherently is) in the best sense. A lot of what I learned about being a decent human being was explored in a tabletop setting with family and friends; whether that be D&D, or Uno, Monopoly, or King of Tokyo. Interacting with our fellow humans is enlightening and awesome; here are some ways to help gain perspective, understanding, empathy, and respect - and maybe some storytelling tips, too! 1) Respect The Gestures Of Your Allies I'll use a specific example for this one. Say you're a new party member; everyone else is pretty established, they've got more loot than you (and they know it), and they've been playing longer. You waltz into a shop, and want to buy an awesome custom weapon, but you're super short on gold. You're the new dude, the party doesn't want you to feel left out, so the rich fighter in the group chips in the 2000 gold needed to help you buy your awesome weapon... Maybe don't try to sell that awesome weapon the very next chance you get. There's a couple reasons for this. 1) It makes the people who chipped in feel cheated - like you used them somehow. Gold, like real money, can take some work to accumulate, and not unlike a child whining for a toy that they never play with, the people who helped you realize that maybe you didn't need the thing in the first place. 2) It chips away at their sympathy for your plight. If they stick up for you and you abuse it/expect it no matter what, sooner or later, like the boy who cried wolf, when you REALLY need help, you may not get it. What it really comes down to is the awareness and empathy of others' time and energy; it's a perspective thing. Put yourself in their shoes. They risked their (character's) lives fighting a dangerous crime lord to earn that money, they made the generous choice to help you buy a thing so you can feel more useful, and then the very next chance you get, you try to sell that thing. It can feel like a slap in the face; like their generosity had no value. Acknowledge and respect your allies' decisions to help you out by utilizing the tool, weapon, armor, info, or action that they helped you acquire. Or, if you realize "I don't actually need this," acknowledge your mistaken impulse and maybe find a way to "pay back" that ally. Not unlike a parent who helps a grown adult out of a financial bind, when that adult realizes they're in better shape than they thought, and HAS A CONVERSATION with their parent, and creates a plan to pay back their generosity. It builds accountability. Trust me. 2) Maintain Nuance (explain how, not why) It goes a long way to describe what your character does WITHOUT explaining why they did it. This practice opens up some cool role-playing elements: 1) If what you did is interpreted as "strange" by your fellow characters, they can talk to you in-character about it...and you can respond in-character. This provides dynamic opportunities to act and role-play - without breaking that character to launch into your full backstory as the player. Keep yourself a wonder; it supports good storytelling. 2) It keeps interactions from repeating themselves. If you explain the WHY of your actions every time you do them, especially for repeated actions, then you might actually come off as annoying your fellow players; because they've heard it already a thousand times. Patient individuals will continue to entertain this behavior, but it doesn't mean that that patience might not be running thin. If you know you've said it before, they get it. Avoid becoming a broken record. 3) A sense of mystery is a powerful thing. Seek moments like THIS: Eric: Urren takes a twill from his pack and sets out a few vials, some strips of parchment, ink, and a small porcelain doll, and tries to look busy while you guys talk. INSTEAD OF THIS: Eric: Urren takes a twill from his pack, because he's got one of those with all his herbs for making potions and medicine. He unrolls it, taking out some vials, that he can use to make you guys potions later, or some other stuff that you'd like, because he's proficient in his Herbalism Kit. I take out some parchment, some ink, and a little porcelain doll that I had when I was a kid and it's really important to me because someone from my backstory gave it to me and I hope I can see them again, soon. They were taken by a roving band of barbarians, and I need to travel to the Forgotten City to find any clues of his whereabouts. Oh, and also I want to look like I'm busy, can I make a Deception check? Both instances have the same visual component for the theater of the mind, but the latter reveals (in my honest opinion) WAY TOO MUCH for such a simple action. Just painting the picture, in its own simplicity, creates character nuance. If we go with the former, it opens the door for another character to join Urren and ask him about the doll. Then Urren (in character) could give small details about it, feel nervous and put it away, launch into its life story, or stare blankly at this person, refusing to say anything. This interaction provides character hints; where everyone is slowly discovering elements of Urren - without being expressly told by the player. It creates questions in the other characters; why did me asking about the doll strike such a nerve? Why won't he talk about it? Is it a painful memory? Why the parchment? Is he writing a letter? Is he writing anything? What's in the vials? ...And all of these questions are explored through the theater of the characters - the character wonders these things, the character attempts to understand their ally through character interaction. It makes for intriguing stories of complex characters; characters that grow and evolve through the theater of the mind. In strict simple terms, when the game starts, have a little less PLAYER, and a lot more CHARACTER. Be an actor, without explaining why you're acting. 3) Keep Your Spells A Secret...until you use them Casters are awesome, and D&D helps do a great job of making magic mysterious and powerful. Similar to #2, you might be excited about sharing a new spell that you just learned and all the ways that it's awesome...but don't. Not yet. You can talk to the DM about it, you can gush about it to your buddies at the bar, but during the session...DON'T TELL ANYONE. You want THIS to go down: "Hey guys, I just learned a new spell, and I gotta' tell ya', it's going to be AMAZING when it shows up!" Now, the party doesn't know the context of this spell; they aren't also required to memorize everything you can do on top of their own stuff, they know you got something cool, but they can still be pleasantly surprised when you use it. Magic is mysterious. Keep it that way. 4) Realize That It Is Rarely About Just You I've said it before, I'll say it again. This is a group game. But here we're going to take this down a few avenues. Character Development That Isn't You: Maybe you were the first arc in the story, so you got used to being the center of the attention, and now your initial conflict is over and it's someone else's turn. How do you manage that? Well, start by being present for the other characters in their own conflicts. They were there for you (or maybe they weren't, and that could be an interesting interaction when they bring up why you're being such a sour-puss), so you should be there for them. Find ways to watch their back, support them when they need to stand up for themselves, help them figure things out; sometimes just making sure they're not alone can go a long way in building that character trust. ...Some of the groups I've been in feel like comrades in a war; we had each other's backs, fought against insurmountable odds in a fictional world that was tangible to us, and because we trusted and supported each other, we succeeded. Those are friends I still have to this day. Your Comfort Isn't The Only One That Counts: if you are making others uncomfortable to make yourself comfortable, you are wrong. If you are doing things that annoy the majority of the party, and they have communicated as such respectfully, yet you still do these things, you are wrong. Why are you wrong? Because this is a GROUP GAME. Comfort is one thing, but compromise and cooperation are skills, and thus are learned. In order to maintain any comfortable environment, compromises must be made, because everyone is different. What a concept. I am honored to DM in a place where groups don't bully each other, so when discomfort comes up, it's usually that someone isn't socially aware of the fact that they are taking others' patience for granted, and a constructive conversation may be needed. ...AND THAT'S OKAY. No person can strive to be better at anything without first recognizing that something might be wrong. Which leads me to... Character Conflict Is Not A Bad Thing: clashes between characters, or even players, don't have to be a detriment. So many people today are influenced by the idea that conflict is BAD. Disagreement and opposing ideas are BAD. This is wrong, and a great place to build better communication skills of ideas, ideals, ethics, plans, and decisions is in A FANTASY - where whatever you decide, does not have real life consequences. :) Plus, conflict - dynamic conflict that isn't petty - makes for good stories. If it's between players, the conflict isn't the goal, moving forward together after its resolution, is. 5) Don't Put Your Fellow Party Members In Boxes We're all familiar with basic party roles. The Tank, the Blaster, Buff/Debuff, Healer...Sneaker? I'm not talking about these. What I am talking about here is a bad habit I've been seeing, which is more complex than I think people realize. The habit is to define a character by their class, and openly say things like, "Well, Jim, you're a bard, so you act like this, and this, and this, and did you know you can do this, too?" or "Are you sure you want to act that way? Because you know, as a Druid, you're connected to the natural world and therefore it doesn't make sense for you to make that decision." This is especially insulting to players that have been playing for a number of years; they understand their own mechanics, they've built their backstory, they actively role-play, they don't meta-game...yet you're telling how they should be playing. The last example I overheard, and I'm certain it was too ridiculous to be serious, but it illustrates the feeling just the same. Player 1: (Level 6 Bard) Hey, did you know you can cast spells? Player 2: (Level 13 Wizard) ...Yes. I am aware. Player 1: Well, as an Abjuration wizard, you should be picking only protection spells so you can get the most out of them. Here, let me tell you about every single spell you obviously don't know about... As a DM, I don't tell players how they should play based on their class. They made their class choice for any number of reasons, but most of all, to play the way they wish to play. This way will undoubtedly evolve, but it's not MY character, so I have little say in how they're going to play it. And just because in fantasy literature, a certain sorcerer acts a certain way, does not mean that a player should act the same way just because they are a sorcerer. Each character is unique within their own context. I have no business steering their play toward a specific outcome due to my own preconceived notions (coaching/teaching is one thing, railroading is another). Players/characters will surprise me by creating new avenues; new stories, and that's one of the most beautiful things about the game. Whew. World-building and organization next time!
I'll see you at the table. -Adamus 1. Arrive on Time ...So everyone can start together, and you don't miss out on stuff if we start without you. On-time arrival communicates mutual respect for all the other players gathered. Things come up, schedules get busy, emergencies happen - but communicate these things so the GM can plan accordingly. 2. Think about your turn before it happens/get organized This is a life lesson. Get thyself organized; everything will take less time, you'll be less stressed, and EVERYONE will appreciate you more. ;) If you're a monk with a million attacks...maybe roll your damage and attacks together. Then, if the attack hits, you already have your damage. If it doesn't, discard the rolls. Easy-peasy. Set your dice out that you're going to roll ahead of time. If you're hasted (ugh), maybe even write down your own order of operations to keep yourself focused on your tasks, then check them off one by one. If you're a caster, READ YOUR SPELL. Know what it does, understand its range, casting time...all those frustrating details; but ESPECIALLY have ready the Save DC and WHAT exactly the DM is supposed to roll, if there even is a save. Bonus: casters who narrate what they do to cast the spell adds great depth to their character and the visual art of it all, plus demonstrates an understanding (maybe) of how the spell works, so try it out! (In 5E) The Attack Action, even if you have Extra Attack, consumes your action, so unless you are Hasted, you cannot also cast a spell, or interact with an object, or grapple a foe, or do anything big after that. Your movement moves you across the board...that's it. A Bonus Action is specific - if you do not have a feature that would grant you a bonus action, assume that you do not have one to spend. An understanding of this speeds up play dramatically - and actually allows a lot more to be done each encounter, as more player turns will occur - this way no player feels that they need to CRAM their turn with stuff to do because they won't get another chance later. As a DM, I've made a few house rules for player ease: 1) Potions take a Bonus Action to consume yourself, but an Action to give to others; this way, there's still a cost to healing, but it doesn't consume a full turn. 2) Sometimes, as context or creativity might allow, I have expanded the use of the Bonus Action - this is something I will try to do less of, as individuals have become confused by it/try to abuse it. 3) As per the rules, a Bonus Action spell does NOT allow another leveled spell as an action; me and my fellow DMs rule that one can cast a Bonus Action spell AND another spell of 2nd level or below (but the core rules state "cantrips only" for this). There ARE class features/feats/items that mess with these basic rules, of course, but everyone is held to that initial standard. Knowledge of what rules you can bend, and what you can break, will speed up turn time and allow more opportunities for everyone. PLUS, it helps the DM avoid unnecessary rules lawyering/arguing/etc. that can drag down play. 3. Share the Spotlight This is a group game. Don't hog the spotlight. This requires some personal and social awareness. There can be a lot going on, but no one wants to feel forgotten. It gets harder with bigger parties, but if everyone stays aware of their own spotlight, no one should feel slighted. It goes a long way, especially if you think that what you're about to do is going to take some time, to INVITE another party member, maybe one that isn't used to playing much yet, along for the ride. This makes them feel wanted (yay), gives them a joint opportunity to shine, AND forces the initial player to interact with their party in character. Maybe the whole group follows - sweet! I'd rather an ensemble with everyone taking part than a looooong solo with everyone else waiting. 4. Listen to the Game Master If the Game Master is talking...listen. Your side conversation can wait, that random thing you want to say that you just thought of...can wait. This isn't me trying to squash anything; quite the opposite really. It's to set up a level of respect. If the GM listens to you as you describe something, then listen to her as she describes something. Your GM works hard for you; they have a tough job, and they need to be given the space to help paint the picture in front of you without being interrupted. Some great emotional and effective moments can be hindered by a player making a joke in the middle. Don't spoil the fantasy of a detailed resurrection ritual just because you thought of a thing - save it for later. Plus, this ensures that everyone comes along for the ride in the fantasy, at least for a little bit. Details are all shared; collective in the theater of the mind. It grants the DM space to craft a great picture. Seriously. Shush. 5. Rise to the Challenge ...and don't whine about its difficulty.
As player-characters get stronger, they will undoubtedly face off against more and more powerful entities. Wizards are SCARY at high levels, and some dragons are ALSO wizards, so... Mind Flayers are terrifying; there are some creatures that will just bring your hit points to 0 as an ability; Legendary Actions keep you humble; Intellect Devourers, though weak, can still decimate your party. ALSO, heists are hard. Planning is hard. Maybe you're not a sneaky person, maybe you're not a planner, maybe you just want to set everything on fire and call it a day. We can use these moments in a fictional game to help ourselves become more complete people. Rise to the challenge to improve your planning, your execution, your self-control, your spell usage, your creativity - don't whine about it, TRY. Because anyone can roll a NATURAL 20. :) Have an awesome day. See you at the table. -Adamus A Little Info Up Front With the new semester just around the corner, we've got more players interested than ever before, and a few spots here and there available for folks to come play with us. However, many of the parties with openings have been adventuring with each other some time, a few nearly two years. They've built strong bonds with one another, some fighting literal gods together... So how does one join into that kind of dynamic? Well, in short, slowly. But here's some more detail! 1. Read the Room I put this one first because it is the most important life skill I have ever picked up in my years of teaching, performing, and just plain existing among other people. Each of us possesses an ability to "read the room;" to gauge how others react to our presence early on in an interaction, the things we say and how we say them, and feed ourselves information on how to react in a way that isn't obtrusive to the other. It arrives in the form of that feeling at the base of your neck when you realize "I said something wrong" or "That joke didn't hit the way I wanted it to." This amazing superpower is frustrating, because it relies on immediate hindsight, but one can also address it immediately in public and help assure the others that nothing ill was intended. "That sounded better in my own head, sorry" or "That joke didn't land well, did it?" The trick is listening and learning to how the room reacts to your speech, mannerisms, and characterization and make slight adjustments as you go to keep everybody in a good place. Unfortunately, there are many role-players so obsessed up front with the idea of their character and how they feel they want to express themselves that they end up ignoring the remaining people in the room, and their level of comfort, which can quickly lead to even the best people feeling frustrated with the "new guy." So, when joining an established adventuring party (or work group, study group, livestream, podcast, social brunch, or any new social group), try this: imagine your character (you) at their highest level of expression...then scale it back to half power. I don't say this to CRUSH YOUR CREATIVITY and single you out; I say this to allow space for the others to allow YOU to grow a part of THEIR party. Because let's face it, you're the "new guy." A strong adventuring group is a delicate thing; too many are broken by internal strife, misunderstanding, destruction of boundaries, and feelings of isolation - so allow yourself and the others in the room time to get to know you, instead of explaining your entire backstory the moment they meet you. ;) 2. Find Your Niche Established parties have established skill sets for each member. When things get nasty (combat or not), everybody knows what their job is and how to support each other. You've got to find where you can fit. Often, with a group that's been together a while, there isn't necessarily a gaping hole for you to fill - they've gotten this far without you, you know. So you need to find how you can augment their current establishment; do things that others struggle with, bringing something new to the table. 3. Take Your Space, But Respect Theirs They won't trust you right away. To let you in, I mean really let you in, is a huge rarity first thing. You're going to have to earn your place, and respect their distance. This means not being offended if they're unsure how to work with you in the beginning. A new person is ALWAYS jarring. If they cross a line with you, let them know, so you can establish boundaries, BUT if you do this, you MUST respect theirs in turn. If it's not okay for someone to reach out and pat your head, maybe you shouldn't poke the Rogue with a mage hand the first time you meet him... Again, this is interaction with an already established group. They've wrecked bandits together, bonded over the corpse of a spider lich, done tavern crawls, and survived many a bar fight. They're friends, in some cases, even considered family. Being new is difficult. Be patient. Respecting boundaries goes a long way toward building trust early (in fantasy and out). And often, establishing that level of mutual player respect, will speed up that whole trust thing exponentially. 4. Slowly Blossom It's easy to get excited, you're playing an awesome game with awesome people... But take a deep breath. Feed them your personal story in small snippets; if they ask for more, reveal only what is comfortable. You don't have to fish through your bag for your handwritten backstory and then slam poem it to all of us - you can keep it vague. This also allows you to edit your character as you go. You don't have to feel pressured about all of the intricate details in your backstory making perfect sense right away; it's YOUR character, you can make changes to the things no one knows yet, and that is extremely powerful to your own agency. You choose what to reveal and when; mystery can go a long way in building a bond based on what you can DO first, rather than focusing on where you came from. Much like #2, you can find stronger connections to the party by finding (and editing) how your story intertwines with their values, desires, and skeletons. 5. Challenge Yourself - Create Agency - Reflect Maybe you've never played before, and this is your first experience with a tabletop RPG; maybe you played a long time ago and want to see how the new edition of the game functions; maybe you've come from eons of playing the best games in the universe and you want to see how we lowly mortals function; maybe you're coming from a bad experience and are just trying to find your place. Breathe. Just take a deep breath. Then take another one, and remember that no entity in the universe begins perfect. GMs have a difficult job. They need to balance conflict with success, and provide contextual hooks for the players to help drive a narrative without railroading them. In other words, give the players agency of choice while also telling a story. If you take damage, heal. If you get cursed, find a cure. Random demon possession? Something to overcome - maybe even an awesome side quest toward redemption where you discover the mystery of your bloodline. Not sure what to do? Improvise! Still not sure what to do? Engage your AGENCY. Make a goal, and pursue it. And share this goal with the GM so they can find better ways to support your personal development as a player and a character. And, as the group gets to know you, they'll understand your goal(s) as well; able to back you up, as you have backed them up I'm sure. Conflicts that arise in the game's world are opportunities for you, and your character, to persevere and grow - not personal attacks for you to complain about. Challenges to overcome, and stepping stones toward that goal. Reflect on what these steps mean to your character, and to you, the player. Doing this puts everything else into perspective and helps remind us that not everything can go our way every time. Sometimes settings are not kind places, and we must rise to the challenge, rather than complain of our hand dealt. Conclusion In closing, you can learn a lot by scaling back at the onset. It keeps you from looking as if you're trying to derail or "steal" their thunder, while allowing you time to read the room, find your niche, take your space, and align a goal on your own.
A good party is a delicate thing, and people can be very protective of it. Please remember and respect that perspective if you're jumping into a group that's been together for awhile. If you grant them that respect at the beginning, you WILL grow into the group easily and quickly. BUT...if you don't grant them that space, there can be hurdles to overcome later; boundaries that have already been crossed, messages already sent. Not impossible to overcome, of course, especially with good people, but it will take longer to find one's place. Hopefully that didn't meander too much. Here at QW we always try to foster positive gaming experiences with a high measure of patience, understanding, and teaching; none of us are ever perfect, so benefit of the doubt is great. But at other social game scenarios, new players may not be given that breadth of allowance. Looking forward to the new faces already at the door. I'll see you at the table. -Adamus |
Adam SummererProfessional Game Master musician, music teacher, game designer, amateur bartender, and aspiring fiction author. Honestly, I write what I want when I want. Often monster lore, sometimes miniature showcases, and the occasional movie/show review.
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